Last night i had a very troubling dream. i dreamed that CJ had forgiven me and in turn i forgave her in this dream. but in this dream i was not looking for her. she found me. i know in real life she would never forgive me. because i know that i made an effort to bury the hatchet. but that hatchet in reality never existed untill she discovered that i had a few words to say against her.
i know it is too late to think romanticly towards her and the dream was anything but.
but if i could just move on and not be reminded of her i will in fact, be come happy.
but the truth is i am happy. i knew that i would never be with her and i was right about that. but she is still out there. and she is still remembering me and i am remembering her. but because of this she refuses to seek me out. but if she ever does. i will not turn my back on her.
i just won't look at her.
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