that is what my current situation is.
knowing that the promise of being patent yet knowing that i may not have tomorrow. i feel that i may never find her, the she that compleats me.
for 8 years i thought that amanda was that light.but i snuffed that light like a candle. and the light shined no more. i lost the beakon that had lighted my hopes and desires.
for 14 years i feared falling in love.
untill i found the perfect female to fall for.
because i knew i would never be with her.
but because of the way i felt for her
i knew she would full fill the desires of my hopes and dreams
it just turns out i was wrong. i pushed away someone who had been there ever since i fell for this female.
it turns out that because i knew that this female would never be with me, she fitted the prophecy to a "T"
it turns out that it was every female in that time period that was in that time that i pursued CJ.
God Knows who Mrs Ryan Harrison is. and i feel that she will enter my life willingly knowing that i want to drop my baggage at the door.
a friend of mine, (who i hope to become a close friend in the future,) has told me that the hole in my life will be filled with the woman who God knows will be the perfect match for me.
he,God, just told me that i will have to wait a month for every girl who's heart i have broken. untill i reach the time that i require before i meet her. starting today.
turns out i broke alot of hearts. and i will faithfuly wait the extra time before Mrs Ryan Harrison enters my life.
Monday, October 13, 2014
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Thank you Todd Friel
because of him he ignited a passion to get past this hump in my life and help my friend in the process. i will not say what the sin was or what the problem was, but i just wanted to say that the program i listened to helped me out of a jam i was in where god started talking to me again.
i know it was him and i cannot prove it was him but i know it was him. regardless what athiests will say. i am not ashamed of talking to god and he inturn is not ashamed to talk to me. i know that i will probaly be put on another med but hey, if you had the chance to talk to your parrrents before they died would you try to get them saved?
God wants me not to worry about what ever he wants, but what he commands me to obey when i am being lead astray.
so that when i do come back he is there for me, as he always will be there and help me over the humps before i get past those vallys. before i make it to my last hill, my goal.
i know it was him and i cannot prove it was him but i know it was him. regardless what athiests will say. i am not ashamed of talking to god and he inturn is not ashamed to talk to me. i know that i will probaly be put on another med but hey, if you had the chance to talk to your parrrents before they died would you try to get them saved?
God wants me not to worry about what ever he wants, but what he commands me to obey when i am being lead astray.
so that when i do come back he is there for me, as he always will be there and help me over the humps before i get past those vallys. before i make it to my last hill, my goal.