volitile

that is what my current situation is.

knowing that the promise of being patent yet knowing that i may not have tomorrow. i feel that i may never find her, the she that compleats me.

for 8 years i thought that amanda was that light.but i snuffed that light like a candle. and the light shined no more. i lost the beakon that had lighted my hopes and desires.

for 14 years i feared falling in love.

untill i found the perfect female to fall for.

because i knew i would never be with her.

but because of the way i felt for her

i knew she would full fill the desires of my hopes and dreams

it just turns out i was wrong. i pushed away someone who had been there ever since i fell for this female.

it turns out that because i knew that this female would never be with me, she fitted the prophecy to a "T"

it turns out that it was every female in that time period that was in that time that i pursued CJ.

God Knows who Mrs Ryan Harrison is. and i feel that she will enter my life willingly knowing that i want to drop my baggage at the door.

a friend of mine, (who i hope to become a close friend in the future,) has told me that the hole in my life will be filled with the woman who God knows will be the perfect match for me.

he,God, just told me that i will have to wait a month for every girl who's heart i have broken. untill i reach the time that i require before i meet her. starting today.

turns out i broke alot of hearts. and i will faithfuly wait the extra time before Mrs Ryan Harrison enters my life.