Freedom. i take it not for granted. others do.

i know that i will die this year and i am not looking forward to it. but i know that others who see God and see that he had to evolve just to fit the paradigm of him not fitting into their big-bang theory calls me a heretic just because i believe that Jesus is God,  has a lot of pieces of the wrong puzzle in the puzzle that he is trying to put together. by asking the wrong questions about God. and not liking the answers i had for him.  one being that Jesus is God.

he then slaps a label on me saying that i believe in "modealisam" (not sure about the spelling of the word because i never heard the word ever since then until now.) and also calls me a heretic just because i am unable to explain away Jesus as being more than the son of God. but is God himself.

without explaining that when i was 17 i saw Jesus in the clouds as a direct and last favor filled request to him to show me that my faith was not in vain.

i figured that i was never going to explain to him that if i did have nothing to give him i would at least tell him that the puzzle he was trying to put together was not fitting his paradigm because he had the wrong puzzle started in the first place. and if the puzzle was ever to be completed he must first take the original puzzle and be willing to throw it away in order for the truth to make sense like i did when i was 17.

a typical response i found to the last 2 heretics i have tried to talk to said they had "questions." that i was able to answer each of. but the only difference between this one and the last one was the fact that i kept my visions out of the conversation this time as my "proof."

and i used my scientific knowledge as my proof.

i knew that if i was not going to convince him i did not have to.  Because God was going to reward me just for speaking up on his behalf. when apparently no one else did.

And let me remind you Jesus is GOD and his HOLY SPIRIT is interchangeable with son and father. and is the same thing as the trinity.

If i marry her...

without trying to get a closer bond, i feel i will ruin a just recently reestablished relationship.

 i have to time my steps carefully.

i will bring this matter before the throne of God but if i bring this matter too her knowledge before she is ready to accept it i know that i will lose all i have tried to gain.

but to ask her to wait another 7 years is both unfair and foolish on my part.

and the way the world scene is going i feel i may not have the time i once did.

things are moving just a little faster than expected but some things are taking longer than usual. it's just that the things that matter are are what are moving faster than expected, and what i want are taking longer than usual.

before i reestablished communication  with Amanda i had a dream that she was here in Saskatchewan. that is what i saw. if that dream was true then i know how much time after the fact, i have left.


because in the same dream i saw my death at the hands of a Nephilim before waking.

2015

an uneventfull new year. that is what i am praying for this year. but i also feel that, it will not happen. as i feel that this year will be even more eventful year then 2014. i am hopeing that i will see a friend turn to God, that has not all his life. but that is only wishful thinking.

I also hope that the Rapture will happen this year. but i have my doubts. as like most date setters the rapture did not happen for them and i am not getting on a band wagon just because it fits what i understand. or if the music suthes the soul. i could be wrong and the odds are closer then not.