Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Looks like Amanda was just waiting for me to say somthing to her
like the title says. we talked today. and just before i was to start Day one Of SAC. i hope all is good. because all it took was me to say something. to open the floodgates. even though it was brief we still are in communication.
Friday, March 25, 2016
less than a week before the new week starts.
Amanda say something. i need to know that it is not in vain. but like Ecclesiastes starts "vanity of vanities" i knew my so called relationship with CJ would end with her getting married to someone else, but it did not stop me from trying to reach out to her. until the end did come and i knew it was just as predicted after she met the five conditions of that relationship coming to a close. when i was 17 i had a vision when my illness kicked in. but i did love her. but the relationship had no hope. unlike what i had for Nevada, a hope that the vision was wrong.
in the vision i was to find my soul mate, when i turn 37. no sooner. (or was it when i turn 40? i cannot think of the current details) because of the way i prayed for that vision. i would repeat the same steps until the appropriate amount of time has passed. i am willing to wait till i am 47 for her to find me. but in that vision i will be taken away from the "world" on my third journey. 2 of which i have succeeded in compleating. one more to go. the last one.
Amanda Don't Be Another CJ. because if i see the same things starting again i know how to "back out" and i will. if i see another 10 years of my life going to waste. just fair warning. this is my plead to you. don't give me a reason to back out now.
the ball is now in your court. hit it back.
in the vision i was to find my soul mate, when i turn 37. no sooner. (or was it when i turn 40? i cannot think of the current details) because of the way i prayed for that vision. i would repeat the same steps until the appropriate amount of time has passed. i am willing to wait till i am 47 for her to find me. but in that vision i will be taken away from the "world" on my third journey. 2 of which i have succeeded in compleating. one more to go. the last one.
Amanda Don't Be Another CJ. because if i see the same things starting again i know how to "back out" and i will. if i see another 10 years of my life going to waste. just fair warning. this is my plead to you. don't give me a reason to back out now.
the ball is now in your court. hit it back.
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
Curses?
maybe i should of pressured her. it has been a while since i heard from her. and i am not sure if she is still coming here. i do want to see her face to face. all i know is that we are drifting farther and farther apart. it seems that it is i who initiates the conversations. if we rarely do have them. i would like to have more of them but i know not what to talk about if anything. i thought with CJ out of the picture we would be closer together. but with her out of the picture a curse has been placed on mine and Amanda's relationship. one that i know not how to lift.