I had a disturbing dream yesterday afternoon. one that i could not shake. yes i said dream. not a vision or a revelation but a dream.
because i am in a time of my life where anything goes and i am flying blind for the first time in 20 years i cannot see if i should pursue this "dream" but i know that if Amanda hates me after i Reveal this dream, that i then know what i must do.
because my sleeping patterens have been all wonky lately i have had a few disturbing dreams but the one i had last is what is keeping me awake.
you see i apparently i am consciously over CJ but there is a part of me that is not. i am guessing that is why i never am fully over her. i have been fighting this feeling ever since i found out that she was married. but yesterday afternoon it manifested into a dream. of her phoning me.
the dream had the usual public sightings of her that turned into her later that day phoning me. in the dream as soon as i knew who i was talking to i hung up. but that is not where the dream ended. but it is the part i remembered most. because it is what i always craved most.
and that is...
to have never of known her in the first place. so i could shake her from my mind for once and for all.
Saturday, July 23, 2016
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
Stoked to the 1st degree
Super Stoked right now.
last weekend i told my mom that i was going to save up for a new laptop to replace the lemon that i bought back in January never again am i going to pay for a cheap and flimsy laptop from "The Source" and i am also going to steer away from Acer laptops. so last Sunday before i went home after our weekly game night at David's, Robert and I payed my mom a visit where i told her this.
she agreed to pay for a new laptop and i would pay her back for the next 2 years. the only catch is i was not to buy a cheep laptop that would "die" in a few months like the last one did and it should also get a warranty with it.
so on Monday morning i placed an order for this laptop on OTV's website. it was a little bit of a disappointment on my behalf, because they did not update their website when i made the request. so thinking that they still had one in stock i made the online reservation only to phone them to find out that they had already sold it.
so "what am i so stoked about?" you might ask. i am getting to that.
so my mother and i went to OTV and made a down payment of $1000 ($900 of witch i still owe her for, as i already paid her $100 of which i already had saved up.) on a new laptop to be ordered in.
and just a few hours ago i got the phone call that it was in. that is what i am stoked about. so either tomorrow or Friday i am going to get it. since my mom is going to make the final payment and i am going to get it from her. on either day since she is the one who is paying for it i have to wait on her..
last weekend i told my mom that i was going to save up for a new laptop to replace the lemon that i bought back in January never again am i going to pay for a cheap and flimsy laptop from "The Source" and i am also going to steer away from Acer laptops. so last Sunday before i went home after our weekly game night at David's, Robert and I payed my mom a visit where i told her this.
she agreed to pay for a new laptop and i would pay her back for the next 2 years. the only catch is i was not to buy a cheep laptop that would "die" in a few months like the last one did and it should also get a warranty with it.
so on Monday morning i placed an order for this laptop on OTV's website. it was a little bit of a disappointment on my behalf, because they did not update their website when i made the request. so thinking that they still had one in stock i made the online reservation only to phone them to find out that they had already sold it.
so "what am i so stoked about?" you might ask. i am getting to that.
so my mother and i went to OTV and made a down payment of $1000 ($900 of witch i still owe her for, as i already paid her $100 of which i already had saved up.) on a new laptop to be ordered in.
and just a few hours ago i got the phone call that it was in. that is what i am stoked about. so either tomorrow or Friday i am going to get it. since my mom is going to make the final payment and i am going to get it from her. on either day since she is the one who is paying for it i have to wait on her..