it's final.

i am moving. it is not a maybe any more. i mailed my move form and gave my notice.

the first code word is. "vesper" to the first encrypted message. but the second is still time sensitive.

you can find the site at

http://www.bagill.com/text-encrypt.php

if you are curious.

Will She ever forgive me?

i screwed up. i had some one special in my life and i let it slip through my fingers yet again. because i had someone else that i could not let go of in my life haunt me. and this baggage was not healthy. even though it was because i had an unhealthy attitude towards Her i could not let go. and i know why. it had something to do with my brain. when ever i thought of CJ my brain would go into a logic loop. that i found out was a part of an epileptic condition that i would actually lose consciousnesses for a noticeable period of time. and i figured it out when Crystal would "wake" me from such a time frame where i thought only 3 seconds passed. and it was actually 2 minutes.

in computers when a logic loop happens if there is nothing there to break the loop the computer will literary freeze. until the thing that is programed to break the loop breaks it. in my case it is a drug that i now put under my tongue at bed times. not only am i now able to stop thinking about CJ i can also break and notice that old logic loop i was in when ever it happens.

so where did i screw up?

i thought that Amanda would be in my future. because i saw her in a dream i had. but she stopped talking to me. all because i felt that the relationship was stagnate.

in truth, i broke a promise to her.

and for that i am sorry.

but i cannot wait forever. and i was waiting for her, because i had put myself into a logic loop. one i could not break out of until recently.

if i put myself back into a logic loop i will be stepping backwards. I will not be able to get out of it if i put myself back into one. so i refuse to do so. unless she starts talking to me again. then i will make sure that it is not in vain.

i may be moving...

the final step in my process is all i have to make before i am able to make the move. and that is to give my notice.

where am i moving to? back to my home town of martensville. i am going to rent a room in my friend's house.

since martensville is now a city it may or may not be hard to find a job there. but i was told i would be given $950 from SAID. a month.

it's not as much as i was hoping, but i think i can make it work.

Amanda, if you still care, contact me.

i saw your visit recently, and it got me thinking. there is a part that still cares and i know that it is not all lost. for better or worst even includes dry spells. even if it is mutual.

Yep. that was odd of me. but who ever asked for normal.

so what is with the 2 coded entries that happened on thanksgiving? it just that i know that what is discussed in those entries are in fact time sensitive visions i had the night before. i will give the code word i used to encrypt them when the time is right. and i know that if i reveal them before 2017 i will regret it.

so just to be sure that i have in fact stumbled upon time sensitive info it will not be edited and will be revieled at the proper time. i will give both the code word and the site i used to encrypt them at the proper time in the comments of the given messages.

here come's the SON, DOOBY DOOBY

lXq5mYAGs/3J3H/KND3VUGeZZwlhgPGEGOJMB4R2C4udX3Uyg2y1vIr3iV/wYR50cUXvD6Cmd0pmVmtM
YwJ4uTfICoAz9cjF1QT+sMgMu/Rm+6d2Z8SRKLiU2vtbZqxULAp+TnovDHW5wnVFHkaKT/X7Gw7FSOqr
hVCinwm9p+jrLlfmOsNHAkDEnTHqwMov3tnxP3iW22DXPB3V2Ge1ncZ31Ta0cfVMoflBv0hjDiRMBLiB
iBlHndLy0GqSQlYz7WWeSkCZj0Nn++A/sW9DmLy2fJa4YlftBzEpx3wPt8xC+Nxfg6ljF8t3z8EhrAey
fSJoJITFYROd2iEugXx9OyIYM5lCXxpmh+Ky/thUJvoSPVjXVNYc/cBDmDinmQMas94aTmTLUMYUdvJh
uHJZzPWlXq8E8vI0kryG69hLgXZK1S8yLkBND9BduSxqEAXt5m+dlATNr82GSn/GtHz21jc3rm64jfSQ
heU/ooPUl2DupUt0Yh0VbUKpcMEHOzYfZwvYvWyWkUY8hGvc//invP1wpMuhBuorh6Dl1BtEayLOQmPW
DDWSWMlstklmJQQYaoSBcEHjNSo5cmWMWqf4yNo+9rwN+FxY2UgBpWEPgh6mOVxaxptBaogD2CjySN22
2kW1OvdFYyEd1/JjcpAXF7umQ61j8WY6i7/YRtjRFkKmqi/XqF+0L3suQ0UhG0BkUUzmGUoko17jjChU
I7wAJBoO/wzTPGBoqtytG5OU9VDdQ3Im9c682O+TJz/y36s0AFwVE3AuN7yFpoXosbhv7ZnSWfvZsnPO
ExTEoq4Xyoq3Mf8BUHC3Bvfi2Rb0uiUyYE4OQAe5uQdbHa96tWuuud1arKE2GEzayZ2EuqDtvIzzwltd
Jg1mkpYm6bLKiRTBc9Qu2n7+jYQvFpVItEX3m8ujMR1H/382EQStg0O9oHNM0i86dYwUXrpfKNYC5plL
pSWQQ0pK3NL9o1Nqy6HmL+THr5Zt0p0bB0mpnUuIrqzeSk+Qp2QkHELsDVCFb0cH7tk3gWHmQp6bZ3/3
6b3af98iM1r5C9n6B+XJAtRPvxIEfi2bV2lpKl89IglPr0Ooq09c5lMAMbiJJG8LAP6VJZu4Gj7f0t3/
OEsGV77N1zOA95CQZbN6AFHuibK3UxmS

About the future.

jU8oEbfAQ8p3qqqo2BVtVvfW4rsPPlmS4sPI2ekW8r63RzG7ZoD5OoaocTwuZCBXkYyCCJ4px9EyKMDE H2I+JPM3DmZaFMjpvZF3wF7jtN8HPjrzx7kBMp9Czi+hxhjBv/1HdCXly5Z+12iWBSn+cGmCi5sZCuxL sss0/9bT0gNfNUB/DqTkZjooaXbdbcUKiDyTLjtXMWQB4cT9uWZKJtL1ECKr6Z4ciw9f7XGuEQm2vW20 gnNEOyLR4IprKqrkU7Tz709f9VhOmikEMyuCLzuuYCQDwCIpyjCmS1nwTsU7ymgpw0yCU2gDxERhYjwx aa8zkmxjF19DK+htF6iHhQ8S4EOV46uwW06AX/pznV+dNLjZnASxNQCMC+oUTSZrUiDiOLfmRquiV9qa EZB/9+4Z4GFaC5kg45oEL2MnXGuli/wTPdaSBUkKHN3yVo2znbViWxG5U2asIdlhF76broQVlQMkjju9 U3NNWX4UDs4zlhSbj/hgETlfa7HWHhw8jUa5FCm7jP3682Kukv4CuoHVuyu+9CJVJXdDfu4BsA0NNtjh MOQKifeMafbgaT9pgCY5fPYUnx3ttI8IxKLiMELaDaAySplb4x5UM0aCO7vgEFFHKVr+9JLcnV/okPv1 8/MIcTjF5mgLEqdCvZqzx7jESsnWUOYyPhhzzkg1LRQBRsHxfrDkkTnc1noAre8h+HYXMoqaGUzWMI5H Z9lo1rb/iYbHIAR39TiB2MIfdN6OCaRoK94YE8IvCCiYCRfJ