Who am i? a follower of patterns.

Faith in what is, is easy. but you know faith in what is to come is hard. it deals with things that you cannot control. but if you see a trend that is and it does not happen the same way every time you cannot use it to look into the future. but if it always happens the same way you can set your watch to it.

i may of over looked something that i cannot control.

Amanda.

i know i have trusted in a faith that is no longer there. 

but that faith did not come from the same faith that i have in God. i have more faith in God than i ever did that i had in Amanda. so much that it blinded me from the failing of our relationship.

i felt that my relationship with Amanda was an escape from my reality that i could not acquire my hope that i was wrong about CJ.  but because i was right about her i was wrong about Amanda. that she would still be there for me when she, CJ got married to someone else.

but i now now that she is just like any other relationship i had during these two times. that i was told about by god in a vision i got when i was 17. when i asked about my future.

i now play my trump card.

when i was 7 i was given my first "prophecy" that my love line on my hand splits into 2 branches. and it had a large split in the later line close to the end. it singled that i would fall for 2 women. at a time. i know not that it would be a blond and a redhead at the same time.

i know, i am now entering a time for the third phase of my life starts when i find my next love. a blond and a redhead.

i discovered Amanda at and around the time i first fell for CJ. and  Nevada around the time i also fell for her friend Michelle.  but i only need 2 women in my life to count and make the whole puzzle fit.

with this Revelation i now know i have someone in my future. but i now know there is hope. even if Amanda is not in my future. because she is now apart of my past.

there where also my pre vision post puberty relationships. Sheri and Andrea. and every thing else fits once more.

so i am resetting my watch, and i am looking for my tribulation Girl friends if i know what is comming..