here is a test, if i Email CJ before she does me then that means i lost the battle i am currently fighting. it has been half a year since i last emailed her and i know i can last at least a year.
here is the kicker, if i do see her again it will be against my will. and i will choose to flat out ignore her. if i see her in public, why?
i want to move on.
but the thing is i don't know what to move on to. i have nothing to move on to. i have been fighting this urge for the last 8 months.
what do i want to say to her?
nothing good.
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